Ticked off.

August 16th, 2010

My cousin works in the North Woods on the rez. He’s an archaeologist, and the tribe hired him to analyze their history.

I told this guy he was lucky to work in the woods. He said yeah, but ticks are a problem. There’s a bumper crop.

This reminded me of an experience I’d had years ago…

I’d gone into the same woods to take pictures. I spent an afternoon concealed in deadfall near a creek where I’d set out chicken from a can. Wanted to attract bears or coyotes. Maybe see a bobcat. I had binoculars and a camera.

A coyote came. It was big. Might’ve been a wolf. And a fox showed up. Separately of course. Later I saw porcupines, deer, Great Blue, and Black-crowned Night Herons, Scarlet Tanagers, Evening and Pine Grosbeaks. Several types of woodpecker and an Osprey. Bald Eagles, too.

At my rented cabin on Lake Gogebic, I took off my shirt and noticed wood ticks around my middle. A lot. They must’ve crawled in when I sat on the ground. They were bloated with my blood.

Generally there are two kinds of ticks to know: Wood ticks like these, and smaller deer ticks. It’s the deer ticks that carry Lyme Disease. Wood ticks can give you Spotted Fever and Tularemia. But I wasn’t interested in the science of tick-borne disease at the time.

I was freaked.

There’s a procedure for dislodging ticks, but at that moment I forgot it. I slapped and scraped.

(Procedure? Yeah, right. I’ve heard you’re supposed to stand still when you see a grizzly. But when you see one, you’re gonna run like hell. So much for procedure.)

The ticks came off like velcro being un-stuck. They popped out or broke up, and piled on the floor. A smeary mess. Not a proud moment in my exploring experience. I showered and soaped and didn’t get a tick disease.

But there are tick diseases you should know about. What are they? Sorry. This website is about birds and fun. If you want to read about sickness, the internet is all too obliging. Google away, but be careful. It’s crazy-making stuff.

Just remember that when you go into the woods, there’s a bumper crop of ticks these days. And they can make you pay a price in blood for every other thing you see there.

The case of the flying scream.

August 13th, 2010

“I’ve got a problem,” she said. “I think I need…a bird detective.”

She smelled good. Jungle Gardenia, or something. I don’t know a gardenia from a garbanzo, but I like jungles. “How can I help you?” I said.

“Every night I walk Derek,” she answered. “And now we’re afraid. We can’t do it any more.”

“Derek?” I asked.

“Come on,” she said. “You and I are neighbors, Mr. Bird Detective! He’s my German Shepherd. You’ve seen him.”

Of course. I knew him. I knew her. She was the pretty woman who worked in our community as a theater director. I said, “Of course. Please go on.”

"I've got a problem..."

"I've got a problem..."

“Well,” she said, “a few nights ago I was walking Derek, rewarding him with Yogurt Yummies when he does his business. And there was this unholy scream behind us! Scared us out of our socks!”

“Where did this happen?”

“End of the street. By the woods. Gave me chills. Then I figured, hey, we have a coyote in the neighborhood, right?”

“Right out of a cowboy movie,” I said.

She said, “I remembered poor Cheech.”

Cheech was a cat who lived on our block. He disappeared recently and we were all warned about coyotes.

“Could a coyote be what howled at us? She asked. “Doubt it,” I said. “Coyotes wouldn’t get close.”

“And they don’t fly!”

“And coyotes don’t fly, do they?” She said, leaning forward, eyes wide. That got my attention. I said, “Fly? What are you talking about?”

"...they don't fly!"

"...they don't fly!"

“Mr. Bird Detective…here’s where the story gets weird,” she said. “The shriek happened again, louder, but this time over my head. This is why I’ve come to see you. What kind of bird scared us?”

“Hawks scream pretty loud,” I said. “But not at night. And there’s no motive.”

“Then I heard it again!” she said. “A block away. Still blood-curdling, still high in the sky.” She raised a shapely arm, with a shapely hand and a shapely finger pointing. Up. “Since then, I’m afraid to walk Derek at night. He’s not getting exercise.”

“Or Yogurt Yummies,” I added.

It sounded like she was describing the scream of a cat. They can make a loud caterwauling. Hey, could that be where the word, “caterwauling” comes from?

“Ever hear a cat scream?” I asked.

“Yeah, it was kinda like that,” she said. “But cats don’t fly. Besides, we haven’t had a cat in the neighborhood since Cheech was eaten by the coyote.”

“I’m not so sure,” I said. I was getting an idea about what had happened. I’d seen something at the end of that street, too, a long time ago. Sometimes the only clue a detective needs is a memory…

It was a black silhouette against a black sky, right out of a Halloween story. I’d shined a light on it, back then. Big yellow eyes stared back, unafraid. A Great Horned Owl doesn’t get afraid.

"...this wise guy was involved..."

"...this wise guy was involved..."

I had a feeling this wise guy was involved. Owls don’t do screams, but they sure can cause them. “It was an owl,” I said. “Great Horned. And great big.”

“Why would it screech and scare us like that? Hey, was it a Screech Owl?” she asked. “There are Screech Owls, right? I’ve heard of them.” I nodded. This babe knew birds. “Yeah, there are Screech Owls. But this was a Great Horned, and deadly quiet.”

“So what made the noise?”

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” I said. “And more than one cat in this neighborhood.” She was all eyes. Nice eyes. “Hmmm,” she said, “I guess there could be other cats…poor Cheech couldn’t have been the only one.”

I said, “One of those other cats must have got out, and had been following you as you walked Derek. Probably smelled your Yogurt Yummies. Cats hunt at night, and they’re quiet.”

I reached for a field guide. Opened to the owl page and showed her The Great Horned. I said, “This guy grabbed that cat, the cat that was tailing you.”

She studied the page. I said, “Take a look at those talons, madam director. They steal the show.” The illustration showed a large skunk skewered in the owl’s claws. A cat would’ve fit even better in them.

“And the cat,” she said, “…made the noise!“

“He caterwauled,” I added. She said, “Poor thing. Those talons must have hurt. And he kept screaming as he was carried up, and away…”

“Which explains why the screams were flying,” I said. “No bird made them. But a bird caused them.”

"Derek will be pleased."

"Derek will be pleased."

You’re good, bird detective,” she said. “And Derek will be pleased.”

“Because now he can walk at night again?” I said.

She shook her head. “Not just that. I think you exonerated a relative of his.”

It took me a second, but I saw her point. And I said, “Aha…the same owl probably got Cheech. A coyote wasn’t the culprit, after all. You’re pretty good, yourself, madam director, take a bow.”

~

A word about “The Bird Detective” and his adventures:

They’re an homage to two-fisted detective writing made popular by guys like Robert B. Parker and Mickey Spillane. But there’s a difference. Even though the pieces in this “Bird Detective” category seem playful, they’re all based on events that are entirely true. The story about the Cardinal that banged on a door, the cop who let a speeder go free because of a Pileated Woodpecker, the crow that got eaten thanks to a misguided tuna sandwich…the scream that flew…all these things really happened. How could they? It’s a mystery.

Time machine.

August 7th, 2010

I’m on the shore of Lake Superior in the wild U.P. where the locals are called “Yoopers.”

This place exists apart from time. The year could be 2010, 1950, or 1492. You have no way of knowing. Not even a jet plane’s track spoils the sky.

This superior lake looks pretty unspoiled. By comparison, its kid brother, Lake Michigan, seems cloudier. Maybe civilized shorelines domesticated it. Lake Michigan’s a dog; Superior’s a wolf.

The idea of a wolf reminds me that wolves are common around Lake Superior. Nearby Isle Royale has packs. Moose live there, too. Moose and wolves; a consumer society.

The woods rising behind me from the stony beach have black bears. Also bobcats, coyotes, the occasional lynx, Pileated Woodpeckers, a Ruffed Grouse that I almost stepped on. And skittish deer, nothing like the jaded suburban kind. It’s said there are cougars, too.

This place is a time machine. I dialed “pre-industry” or “pre-human” or “pre-smog,” whatever. And hit the button. Like I said, it could be hundreds of years ago. Hell, it could be thousands of years ago. Maybe a mastodon will walk by. My archaeologist cousin found mastodon bones in a field south of here. Yeah, a mastodon would be at home.

I turn to the lake and raise my binoculars. Over Superior I look for gulls but get nothing. That’s okay. Gulls aren’t that interesting. And earlier I saw three Bald Eagles. Black Terns, too, near a small forest lake.

I also saw Evening Grosbeaks, Ruby-throated Hummingbirds (unexpected in the North Woods, but perfectly at home), the grouse, three kinds of herons, an Osprey that seemed uncomfortable on eagle turf, a flock of out-of-season Snow Buntings and Ravens.

Plus, I figure I’ll see Pileated Woodpeckers on the trail. These make me think of the time machine again. They’re pre-historic looking with pterodactyl profiles.

porcupine.Iphone

I move into the forest, climbing. There’s something odd in a tree. Baby bear? No, it’s a porcupine.

I get close and take its picture with a cell phone. No prize winner, but it records the moment.

The porcupine was quivering. Guess I made him nervous. I left him alone quickly. Here, above Lake Superior they call this place the Porcupine Mountains.

It’s Michigan’s “Porcupine Mountains Wilderness State Park.” I figure: yeah, they got that name right. I have a picture to prove it.

I move up the trail. Lots of pines. It’s quiet. This is a good place to be. And this is a good time to be here. Because it could be any time at all.

Planet Australia

August 4th, 2010

Some wise dude once said: “The itch to travel is partly an itch to live in a different bird book, somebody else’s field guide.”

Okay, that dude was me. In “Itch Vs. Twitch,” one of these Daily Sightings pieces.

Hey, if you can’t quote yourself, maybe you’re not saying much. All that aside, those words came to mind again today…

A package with exotic markings arrived. Inside, was my new copy of “The Birds of Australia, Eighth Edition,” by Ken Simpson and Nicolas Day, with Peter Trusler.

This is from Princeton Field Guides, another example of their fine work. If you want to travel vicariously by “living in somebody else’s bird book,” here’s your ticket.

The birds in this book look familiar at first. But just wait.

You know you’re in for a ride from the opening pages. They don’t start with boring sea birds the way our guides do.  This book opens with giants that waddled out of the Dr. Seuss department. Then you get the boring sea birds.

But boring’s the wrong word when talking about Australia. The country’s birds are a Star Trek episode.

Remember how characters on the Enterprise looked human until you got close? Whoa, that guy’s forehead has bony plates. She’s got three nostrils. Somebody’s blue.

They weren’t all humans on that starship. Some were humanoids. And the birds of Austalia? An American might call them bird-oids.

That’s not what hard core ornithologists would say. These guys know Australian birds, and won’t be fazed by their strangeness.  Ornithology geeks will be wowed about the updating of rare species, the changes in taxonomy, the “Vagrant Bird Bulletin.”

But America’s two-fisted birdwatchers who are NOT ornithologists will read this new field guide like a sci-fi novel.

Up front, there’s a color map of Australia showing that it’s a round continent, give or take a few pointy parts. The image of a globe cannot be denied.

You’re looking at Planet Australia. And there will be bird-oids down there.

Flip to any page. The birds might at first look somewhat similar to those in American books. But, look closer. That crane’s not exactly a crane; it’s a “Brolga.” Looks, like a crane, walks like a crane…but:

“Brolga.”

Flip further into the book. Is that a page of thrushes?  Wait; they’re not like any thrushes you know. There’s a “Cinnamon Quail Thrush.” A whole new model, with a whole new color scheme.

Flip some more. The “Red-Capped Robin” is designed by an artist who doesn’t exhibit in your home town.

And for us ordinary bird watchers, the oddities just keep coming: There are Pittas, Sittellas, Pardalotes, Logrunners; a Chowchilla, a Drongo, and Figbirds.

There are Flowerpeckers and Australo-Papuan Babblers. Spinebills. And Magpies that don’t look like Magpies. Crow-like “un-crows” that are called Currawongs. And what Australia doesn’t have in the way of woodpeckers, it makes up for with parrots.

There are almost 400 pages, 780 odd birds. Literally. With maps, charts, checklists, scholarly text sections and useful tips.

A trip to Planet Australia. The only thing better than going through this book would be going through this country. (You could talk to a guy named Steve Davidson, at the Melbourne Birder, about that.)

Meanwhile, a little armchair birding is always fun. This guide to planet Australia makes it exotic fun.

Illinois Anhingas and Irish Palm Trees.

July 28th, 2010

The other day we heard from a guy named Greg who has a lot of two-fisted adventures. His latest involved seeing a White Ibis and an Anhinga in Illinois. You can read about it on our Facebook page.

Wait a second: did we just say “in Illinois?” Anhinga? White Ibis? Those birds don’t belong in this state. They’re jungle birds.

That got us thinking: Illinois isn’t entirely what you might think. You think it’s midwestern corn until you hit Chicago, which is smoky and windy, with the country’s tallest buildings. Illinois is a routine northern state, you figure.

But consider these places: Modesto, California. Fort Knox, Kentucky. Cortez, Colorado. Page Arizona. Yucca Flat, Nevada…Bizerte, Tunisia.

Tunisia? That’s sandy, with camels, right? And hot. Arizona, California, Nevada? All seem kind of south-of-here, you know?

But they’re located at the same latitude as the Illinois swamp where Greg saw his rare birds. 37 degrees north, give or take a few steps. Draw a line around the globe, starting at Carbondale, and it’ll run through Tunisia, California, Nevada, Arizona, all those warm-sounding places.

This talk of latitude and biological oddities reminds us of when we saw palm trees in Ireland.

From Dublin to Kerry, in latitude fifty-something (just like the temperature), Ireland has palm trees. See for yourself, if you don’t mind a crummy cell phone shot.

irish palm

Why are there tropical birds in Illinois and tropical plants in Ireland? For Illinois, the answer is easy: it has its toes in the south. Jungle birds are comfortable visiting there.

And the Irish palm question is basic botany. Ireland, cool as it is, never drops below freezing. Palms can abide cool; they just don’t like frost. So they like Ireland. And you will, too, when you go.

As far as liking swamps in southern Illinois, well, if you see an Anhinga or Ibis while you’re there, maybe you won’t mind the bugs and water moccasins. Water moccasins in Illinois? Hey, if we got Anhingas…

Binoculars don’t spot birds. People spot birds.

July 26th, 2010

A comment recently received….

“My wife purchased a pair of Bushnell Binoculars during a recent trip to Grand Teton National Park.  We did not have much of a choice in a small store at the lodge, but now that we’re home I’m wondering if we made a good choice in spending the $90. Can the “Two Fisted Birdwatcher” put an informative article on-line as to all the different options: auto focus or manual, one handed or two handed devices, magnification pros and cons, etc. This may be particularly useful for those who are new to bird watching. (Notify me about new posts and other two-fisted news items.)”

— Avi V.

Avi, thanks for the question. But as the title of this post suggests, the same dubious bumper sticker wisdom that spawned the phrase, “Guns don’t shoot people. People shoot people.” applies here.

photo1-225x300

The gun philosophy is controversial. Polarizing, too. We want no part of that action. But the similarity to your binocular question is unavoidable.

It’s not about the binoculars. It’s about the birds. And the bird watcher. Still, we wish we could jump into an informed discussion of optics for you. But in spite of the countertop display (see photo) that we encountered–unexpectedly–in a local wildlife outfitters, we don’t have much to say about binoculars or scopes. We’re not into the hardware. We’re into the wild.

I enjoy ID-ing birds bare-eyed, if I don’t have a pair of binoculars handy. And when I do use them, any kind are just fine. As it turns out, coincidentally, I also have the Bushnells you mentioned, and think they’re great. Clean, crisp views, and built sturdy.

But I’m easy. If you want real expert opinions, go to this link: http://www.ilbirds.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=6cbe0f5a4ac61f5578597a85e16d7195&board=20.0. If that didn’t work because it’s so freakin’ long, you can also get there by going to Illinois Birders’ Forum, www.ilbirds.com, and looking under “Resources – Birding Equipment.” There’s a lot of other good stuff on that website, too. While you’re there check it out.

Meanwhile, here’s yet another twist that parphrases a common observation about guns: “It ain’t the binoculars. It’s the guy holding them.” I guess that’s what we believe. Good luck, Avi. And thanks for subscribing to Two-Fisted Birdwatcher.

Hot and quiet.

July 23rd, 2010

It’s high July. High nineties. High noon. A good time for bird watching? No way. Do I go? Sure. Just want a little wildness around me.

A grasshopper lands on my hand. I shake it off, a chicken reflex that I’m not proud of. There are butterflies. More than usual. Big yellow ones and a big purple one.

I remember reading somewhere that these bugs were originally called “flutter-by’s” and got Spoonerized into “butter-flies.” But they don’t hold my interest.

I came with binoculars to see what meager bird sightings I’d find during this quiet time. And there’s a black Indigo Bunting. Huh.

Its blue plumage runs dark anyway, but this one’s high on a branch with backlighting, making it into a black silhouette.

I see bright yellow American Goldfinches. You can count on them in summer when other birds are scarce.

Then a big score, and well-named: A Summer Tanager.

It’s like a Scarlet Tanager without black on wings and tail. All red. Hadn’t seen one yet this year. A hot sighting for a hot day.

I walk on and meet a guy down the trail. A serious dude with a tripod scope. We nod. He says, “Get the Summer Tanager?” He’d noticed my binoculars.

“Yeah,” I say.

He nods. Then, “Well, have a good day.”

I say, “Hey, you too.”

A proper trail interchange: brief.

There’s a sign by the entrance that says “Conservation Area.” Some people must think it says “Conversation Area.”

You see them in here sometimes, yakking away, causing wildlife to hide. Nice people, sure. You’d talk with them at a bar or barbecue. But in the wild, conversation is best kept short. Like the one I have with tripod guy.

Back in the parking area, my car is an oven. I air it out. Too hot a day to be bird watching. Yeah, I don’t believe that.

Even if I didn’t see a Summer Tanager or Silhouette Bunting (new name for this bird), I still would’ve had a grasshopper land on my hand, thought about the odd origin of the word “butterfly” and walked through prairie grass near big trees.

A quiet day in a quiet place in high July.

From “The Idea People” – A 2nd excerpt.

July 19th, 2010

The first excerpt from The Idea People has been on this site for a while, and gets a number of readers. We’ve been asked, “What’s the book about? Where’s the rest?”

Two-Fisted Birdwatcher figures you don’t want to wade through lots of words. That’s why there’s been just one excerpt. But, maybe it’s time for another. A new one appears below.

These are from a novel in progress. A name change is under consideration.  Perhaps, it should be called “The-Two Fisted Birdwatcher.”  Or “Adventures of a Two-Fisted Birdwatcher.” Let us know what you think of that.

It’s about a business geek named Ben Franklin who drops out of the wilds of big city office life and drifts into the wilds of the American west, where he has an adventure.

There’s a lost girl to find. There are birds. Bad guys. Other girls. Guns, arrows, bears, chases, beer-drinking, more birds, fighting, and did we say other girls? Plus deep thoughts, even a little redemption.

When we first wrote this post, we said: “Someday this novel might make it to a bookstore. Meanwhile, here’s a second excerpt.”

Now, we’re happy to share this update: The novel HAS been published and is now available on Amazon.

 

West Beckwith Mountain 2

From Chapter 45…

Ben had stretched the truth a little, an occupational habit, by letting Archie assume he was an experienced rider.  Truth was, he’d ridden as a kid, but only on dispirited day camp horses, dragging their tired butts along the level bridle paths of suburban Chicago.

Strawberry was different, moving with the responsiveness of a sports car.  The horse seemed to dislike trotting as much as any sensible rider does, and had just two speeds.  Walk or gallop.

After the initial whip-lashing surge, the galloping would smooth into an undulating rush through slapping grasses and overhanging leaves.  Ben felt like yelling out, as though on a roller coaster, but there seemed a need to maintain dignity in the quiet mountains, especially in front of the horse…

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Strawberry moved deliberately, picking his way over slippery stone while Ben, a helpless passenger no longer feeling he was in the driver’s seat, let the reins rest in his hand against the front of the saddle and gave himself up to the pitch and sway, enjoying the sharp scent of evergreen, the squeak of leather from a hundred complicated connections in and around the saddle, the scrape of metal-shod hooves on grit.

His was a sunny trail this morning, and he nodded his head, going with the motion, as in agreement that this was just a kind of perk, part of doing a job well.  If he twisted around in the saddle, he could make out the red dust road behind him that wound back toward the ranch.  In the distance, white smoke was rising from what must be the barbecue fire.  He wouldn’t really be on his own until he topped the rise and got it between him and this outpost of civilization.

The idea of being cut off plunked a chord somewhere under Ben’s heart, and adrenaline flushed from it, filling his chest with nervous heat, making his pulse flutter, the thin air becoming suffocating.  He was reminded of the feeling he’d had, lost and crazy when separated from the girl that day in the woods.  No way, not this time.  He had the stalwart Strawberry for company.  And all the comforts of home.  You can’t be lost when carrying food, clothes, shelter, fire, water, map, compass, even a radio beacon if needed…

This calmed him.  Only trouble now was that a surprising sadness inched its way forward, caused by the very insight he’d just found reassuring.  The well-packed animal was indeed now house and home.  It was his only true address in the world, having left the city with bridges burned.  What was to become of him?

A bird flew in front of the horse and alit on a trailside branch, unconcerned with Ben’s problems or proximity, not having been conditioned to fear horses or anything growing out of a horse’s back.  It had a deep red body, sharply delineated black wings and tail.  This bird didn’t belong here.  Ben recognized it as an Easterner, like him. And this distracted him from nerves, funk and self-pity.  Ben and the bird looked eye to eye as he passed, two strangers in these parts.  A wordless moment of something like kinship.

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When Ben turned his attention back to the trail, he saw it had topped out.  They were in a clearing, under a big sky.  The horse blew a snotty Bronx cheer to announce his arrival, a raspberry from Strawberry, and dropped his head to feed on knee-high grass, sending up clouds of tiny flies which attacked horse and rider with enthusiasm, excited as insects will be by sweat and blood.

Ben dismounted.  He’d only been in the saddle an hour, but his legs were feeling funny, as after ice skating.  He tied the reins to a sapling, ignoring traces of the recent nervous buzz resonating somewhere inside.

He opened one of the overstuffed saddlebags and had the faint impression of himself as a kid, unwrapping presents.  The Jack Daniel’s bottle still carried morning coolness.  He twisted the cap, breaking the seal with a satisfying snap and took a long swallow, enjoying how it bit back. He replaced the bottle, and it clanked against the wrapped-up revolver.

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Behind him stood the tightness of trees they’d ridden through.  Ahead, the meadow sloped into a V-shaped landform that reminded him of a woman’s inviting legs.  It was well grown there with summer’s healthy vegetation, making the comparison (coaxed along by the healthy swig of Jack Daniels) all the more inviting.

The horizon lay green and rolling, with hazy mountains hovering above, seemingly unconnected, floating like clouds.  The ad guy in him couldn’t help thinking…fade in music from Magnificent Seven…it builds, swells…but Ben shook the guy off.  This was too good for theme songs.  Too big to need help.

He went back to the saddlebag, this time pulling free the gun belt and its loaded holster.  He buckled it on, enjoying the weight of it.  He adjusted his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, untied the horse and swung into the saddle.  Ben didn’t look back again.  He touched his heels to Strawberry’s sides and lit out across the meadow at a gallop, the old Stetson tipped forward, his long hair flying out from under it, the six-shooter hefty on his hip, good whiskey hot in his blood.

Itch vs. Twitch.

July 14th, 2010

Sal, Dean and I are at the bar. Sal says, “Life’s an itch.” Dean says, “Then you die.” A new twist on an old banality, thanks to several beers.

I jump in, just to be friendly. “Sometimes, life’s a twitch.”

These smart guys know what “twitch” means when a two-fisted bird watcher says it. But this odd British word gets what it deserves. No response.

“Itch” caught my ear because I’m getting an itch to travel. But I’m not going to twitch.

When I arrive someplace different, I notice local birds. This makes travel better. You don’t even need wilderness. At Denver’s airport I see Black-billed Magpies. This means, okay, I’m in the Rockies.

Near Disney World, we see Boat-tailed Grackles and Cattle Egrets right away. Don’t have those back home. Must be Florida. Cool.

In Ireland, you’ve got gray-and-black Hooded Crows that we don’t have here. In Bermuda the Great Kiskadee’s common. Around the hotel in Maui, trees are loud with introduced Mynas, and you see gray-and-white Red-Crested Cardinals.

The itch to travel is partly an itch to live in a different bird book, somebody else’s field guide.

That’s the itch. What’s the twitch? It’s something way different. It’s for the heavy hitting, two-fisted birdwatchers who make this interest into a Nascar-style sport.

Twitching is traveling someplace to see a bird you heard about. Twitchers get news from the bird underground. Like: there’s an Anhinga in Terre Haute. The twitcher will drop everything and head there to get a rare Indiana Anhinga for his list.

A pinkish Ross’s Gull in Boston draws twitchers from all over. This is an Arctic bird, and when spotted here, it’s a coup for a lister who’s a twitcher.

There you go: musings over the words “itch” and “twitch.”  A little bar-fueled reverie. Although you wouldn’t say reverie in the bar. Even the comment about life being a twitch brought profound silence.

But who cares. I’ve got an itch to get out of town. Maybe in the Southwest I’ll see a Trogan or Phainopepla, but I wouldn’t go there just to see them.

That would be twitchy, which ain’t me. If it’s you, I tip my glass in your direction.

New Zealand birding guide wanted.

July 11th, 2010

The other day a guy named Sandy wrote us, asking if we knew of a guide who could take him around New Zealand and parts of Australia.

It got us thinking: People have questions and they’re looking for answers. Maybe we can provide an occasional service in “Daily Sightings.” So here goes: Presenting the first ever bulletin board posting on Two-Fisted Birdwatcher.

“…Experienced birder is looking to bird New Zealand, North Island, South Island and Stewart Island with a private birding guide. Planning to spend two or three weeks in this endeavor. Would also consider birding the northeast of Australia with a competent birding guide. The Australian side-trip would be prior to New Zealand or immediately following. Considering the period from mid September to the end of October.”

Another reason why we’re posting this: we have some friends down under. When it comes to two-fisted countries, Australia and New Zealand wrote the book. (Hey there, Melbourne Birders).

If you’re a guide who can handle the job, or if you know of one, let’s hear from you. Use the contact form on this website or the comment box below. We’ll pass along your information to Sandy.

Thanks. Maybe we’ll use “daily sightings” for other kinds of bulletin board notices. There was a guy not long ago who asked us if we knew the name of a blue-headed red bird that he saw in upstate New York. And another guy who asked us to help him identify a vulture-sized bird that had a forked tail.

We responded with an answer to the fork-tail mystery, and the guy wrote back: yeah, it was a Frigatebird. But as far as blue-headed red birds, well, we didn’t think Painted Buntings were in New York. But then, birds can go anywhere they want.

And so can birders. Good luck, New Zealand explorer.

Southern Illinois Strikes Again.

July 6th, 2010

Greg Neise has sent us a birding adventure. Actually, a misadventure. Thought we’d share it. Greg’s a guy who’s explored the uncharted Amazon. Illinois should be tame by comparison. But nothing’s tame when the gods of birding conspire to trip you up. For more birding adventure, information, links and other cool stuff that birders at every stage of the game need to know, check out the web forums that Greg has created. Locally, there’s Illinois Birders’ Forum, and nationally, the new North American Birders’Forum. Meanwhile, here’s a recent adventure….

“Southern Illinois Strikes Again.”

By Greg Neise

I think that Southern Illinois has its own pantheon of renegade birding gods, that somehow I have blasphemed. Maybe it was my impertinence in my quest for a Swainson’s Warbler, which no one living north of I-70 is allowed to see.

Maybe it was the great string of luck that my pal Skrentny and I had, right under their noses, last year. I don’t know…but whatever it was, I do know that I pissed them off. Royally.

Randy Shonkwiler and I set out from Berwyn, Illinois this morning at 3:30 am. Or we would have if my alarm had gone off. That should have been a clue that something was amiss, and a higher power was $*#&-ing with me.

Randy called, sitting in his car at 3:45, waking me up and initiating the fastest S-S-S ever recorded. Ever. Recorded.

Late, but not too late, we headed onto I-55 for the long haul down to the St. Louis area where we had a small laundry list of goals for the day: White Ibis (state bird for both of us), Scissor-tailed Flycatcher (state bird for Randy, year bird for me), Western Kingbird (life bird for Randy), Least Tern (life bird for Randy, year bird for me)…and maybe a Black Vulture (lifer for Randy), if they’re hanging out south of Kidd Lake.

As we were hurtling southbound, approximately 130 miles south of Chicago, Randy glanced down at his instrument panel.

“Huh… the battery light just came on”

Limnothlypis, chief of the Southern Illinois birding gods, smiled from her perch at the top of a huge dead bald cypress.

I checked the owner’s manual to see what, exactly, the battery-check light meant. As with all warning lights on the control panels of American cars, this one was pretty specific: it either meant the battery was dead, a belt was messed up or there was a Cracker Barrel 30 miles ahead on the right.

The car seemed to be doing just fine despite this warning, so we pushed on, vowing to make a stop at a service station to check it out when we got to the St. Louis area.

Limnothlypis laughed aloud and instructed one of her lesser gods, Ciris, to take action.

Suddenly the entire instrument panel (except for the passenger-side air bag light…??) went dead. The speedometer, which a second ago was teetering just a hair over 65mph, read zero. We had no fuel. The engine was revving at zero RMP and was cold as a stone.

“Huh… the dashboard just died”

Limnothlypis cackled and screamed, doubling over with laughter, and kicked a Fish Crow…just because.

We pulled off at Business 55 in Lincoln and looked for a service station. At 6:35am. On the Saturday before the 4th of July. Limnothlypis howled in delight and bitch-slapped a Barn Owl.

We found a gas station, and the friendly people there told us that there was a repair shop just 3 storefronts up the road that would be open at 8am. We waited, and at 8am, no one showed up. By 8:30, no one had shown up. We gave up.

It was at this point that I had an epiphany: WINKS!

Here we are, stranded with a dead car in central Illinois, and one of our own non-southern Illinois birding brethren just happens to be of the Winks Shell family at I-55 and Market St. in Bloomington (one of the last true full-service stations left in North America…if you’re passing through, stop, get some gas and say hi).

I called. He answered. “Hey, where you at?” I asked.

“Working…driving the tow truck”, came the reply.

GENIUS!!! We were saved! Matthew was coming to get our asses. Hallelujah.

Limnothlypis wrinkled her rusty brow. She didn’t see this coming. Hmmm…time to put Ciris back to work, and maybe send another of her minions, Eudocimus, along for backup. Ciris is reliable enough, but he’s all show sometimes, without a lot of follow-through.

An hour later we are at Winks Shell, smiling and having a great time shooting the breeze with our birding pal while Randy’s trusty Malibu gets a new alternator. We would be out of here in an hour and off to see our birds.

After about an hour, the mechanic (Matthew’s brother, John) and Matt confer. Like a doctor approaching the family after a routine hang-nail removal results in death, Matthew approaches us:

“Bad news, guys…we can’t get you a new alternator until Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest.”

Limnothlypis erupts in delight, toppling out of her perch at the top of the dead cypress tree (a state champion) and lands in the swamp, flattening the first Illinois record of a Limpkin.

Okay…time to wrap this up: we wound up driving back to Chicago, sans alternator, and just managed to limp home. About 15 minutes into the drive, my phone rings: it’s Jim Malone.

"See ya next time..."

"See ya next time..."

“Hey where are you guys? We got the white Ibis, and there are two dark Ibis as well…one of them’s a Glossy”.

“AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!” (Another state bird for both of us)

Limnothlypis rolled about in the swamp, kicking her legs in the air with unbridled joy—almost taking out an Anhinga—and she screamed to the sky:

“Y’all come back soon now, y’hear??!!??”

I’m shooting for Wednesday.

Epitaph: Randy did get a year bird: a Eurasian Collared Dove in Lincoln.

Note: For those unfamiliar with Greg’s birding gods, it might be useful to know that Limnothlypis is part of the Latin scientific fancy name for Swainson’s Warbler. Eudocimus? Same thing, but for the White Ibis. Ciris? Ask Greg where he got that one. Don’t think Painted Buntings could be involved, but who knows.

–TFBW

The most American bird.

July 3rd, 2010

Fourth of July. You see a lot of American symbolism. Bald Eagles are part of it. That’s okay. We like Bald Eagles. But we don’t see too many of these big birds in our American neighborhoods.

What we do see, and what you probably saw this morning when you went out, are American Robins.

We don’t want to rock the symbolism boat, but we think the American Robin could’ve made a decent national bird. It’s the most American bird we’ve got.

It’s cheerful, brave and successful. American characteristics. And tough. When a pollutant (DDT) decimated Bald Eagle populations until it got banned, American Robins were still everywhere.

This bird’s name was mangled by Europeans who didn’t understand what they were seeing. (That’s why we keep saying “American Robin,” the correct term).

Europeans mistook our new world thrush for their old world “Robins.” They were thinking about a little European flycatcher with orange in front and brown on top. The Robin. Completely different bird. Pilgrims didn’t have binoculars and probably weren’t interested anyway, so they called our orange and brown thrushes “robins.”

(A European name that’s incorrect is nothing new. Explorers dubbed Native Americans “Indians” because they thought this was India.)

Like a lot of Americans, the American Robin has got oil-related problems looming. Some of these birds migrate. They get scarce in winter, then fly back to remind us when spring’s coming.

But, what’s going to happen this year? Will the American Robins who head to the Gulf coast find a livable environment? Will they return after a season down there? Well, they’re American birds. They’re tough. What’s more American than the ability to make a comeback?

Let’s be optimistic.

Phoebes, Cubs and Another Beer.

June 28th, 2010

I was watching the Cubs game when I heard a BONK. Should’ve been a bat connecting with a pitch. But it wasn’t. (In all fairness to the Cubs, they do occasionally hit the ball. But, again, that wasn’t what I heard.)

From the next room my wife said “Aw, a bird bammed into the window. Come see.”

This has happened before. Our back windows face a pond. Sometimes birds see the reflection and fly into it. After hitting they either rebound and take off. Or get knocked cold and take off later.

But sometimes they don’t survive.

I downed the rest of my beer, left the Cubs to their own devices, and went outside to see what caused the BONK. It was a Phoebe, unmoving. I picked it up. “See anything?” my wife asked.

“A Phoebe.”

“A who?”

“Phoebe. A kind of bird.”

“Hmm. Don’t know that one.”

She’s not alone. Most people would call this little grayish bird a sparrow. But it was an Eastern Phoebe, and it was where you find Phoebes: near water. Eastern Phoebes are similar to other flycatchers, but unlike the difficult empidonax group, they have no wingbars.

And their tails wag. This is a good way to know a Phoebe. Look in the field guide; you’ll see.

There are other Phoebes, too. The Black Phoebe and Say’s Phoebe are found out west. Not sure how you pronounce “Say.” But I’m assuming it’s “Cey.” As in former Cubs third baseman Ron Cey, also known as “the penguin,” an entirely different bird that’s easier to identify.

Cey makes me think baseball again. And I gotta get back to the Cubbies. But first I took a good look at the Eastern Phoebe in my hand. It didn’t make it. No movement.

I’m in bright sun and take a moment to study the bird. I think about the unappreciated intricacy of its hard-wired design. The template for its color pattern. Its bill, built to catch bugs in flight. Its high forehead giving it an intelligent look.

Studying this Phoebe, close up, I had the thought: this is a really complicated piece of work. Eyes with moist movable lids, feet engineered to hinge and lock. For something so small, it was a helluva machine.

And it had been running fine. But now it was out of the game. Whoa, a heavy thought. Where’d that come from? I needed another beer. I set the bird down under a bush and went in. The complexities of biological clockwork and the irrational inevitability of death are not subjects I wanted thrown at me.

The Cubs were looking good in their blue uniforms, and Wrigley’s green vines were looking good, too. I wanted to get back to the mindless comfort of baseball and beer. And I sorta did. The Cubs were still in the game. But, c’mon, I had no illusions about where they’d wind up.

The Hawk, the Cap and the Cookie.

June 23rd, 2010

Subject: me being an idiot. Witness: my son. (But you’ll soon know about it, too). Setting: a crowd in a forest preserve watching a ranger display a Red-tailed Hawk on a gloved hand and feed it a mouse.

But that bloody chomp was to be the climax. Before that, we had to endure a lecture about Red-tails. This one couldn’t fly but was healthy enough to be an exhibit. A hobbled hawk is not a happy sight. And I hadn’t patience for the monologue; there wasn’t much I didn’t know about hawks.

I wandered back to my car for a bag of cookies. Big chocolate chip cookies. I wanted one, and I knew my kid would, too. I returned to the group. Where was my son? I stood on a wood-rail fence to see better. There he was.

People below me… then the ranger…and on the other side, more people, with my son in back. I caught his eye and gestured with a cookie. Then I flung it his way. I was confident that he understood I’d left the boring lecture, got cookies, and was giving him one.

Time out: If you think this is about how the hawk sees my cookie and makes a move to get it, sorry. Didn’t happen. This hawk only had eyes for mouse.

What did happen: I spun the big cookie toward my kid. Used a backhand style, giving it lift, like a Frisbee. My kid’s good at grabbing Frisbees. What could go wrong? Well, if a spinning disk tilts, it might bank and miss its target.

This is what happened to our cookie. It arched unseen over the crowd, and landed gently on the head of a man standing next to my son.

The guy was wearing one of those flat caps, the kind that have no real brim. Its top was flat as an aircraft carrier, and our cookie settled there. The guy didn’t feel it. Nobody noticed. Just me. And my son, who was wide-eyed.

Later he explained that he had no idea I was aiming for him, but assumed that, being bored, I had obtained cookies, located a bird watcher with a flat cap, and tossed one onto his head.

He told me he thought this was pretty damn funny, and he was glad I did it. I knew it had been unintentional, and I was an idiot. But if it gave him some amusement, well, that’s what dads are for.

Footnote: This really happened.

Checklist.

June 21st, 2010

There’s a wing of the birding community that lives to list. Loves to list. Lusts to list. Birding is collecting. So this is understandable.

All the guys I hung with had lists. Lists of ball players, of girls they’d been with. Of micro-breweries they liked.

Do I have bird list, a life list? C’mon, I’ve been wandering woods and fields since I was a kid. Of course I have one. But it’s not typical.

Somewhere in my stack of bird books, there’s a beat-up “Golden Guide to Field Identification – Birds of North America,” By Robbins, Bruun and Zimm. Copyright 1966. It’s so old it has a Baltimore Oriole in it. Fine by me.

My list is in this book. Actually, it is this book.

Not that I need a list. I recall every bird I’ve seen. Ask me if I’ve seen a Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher and I’ll tell you where I first saw one in June ’79. But, as the computer culture has taught us, it’s smart to back things up.

So back to my backup.

A few years ago I went through that old bird book with pen in hand. Next to every bird I’d seen, I put a check. Smooth-billed Ani? Sure. Kiskadee. Clark’s Nutcracker. My first Pine Grosbeak. I remembered them, and checked their picture. I still add checks as I see new birds.

That’s my life list. You can’t turn many pages without seeing checks. How many? A while back I ran the numbers but quit somewhere in the decent triple digits. Guess I don’t have list lust.

But I respect the hardy guys who do. No matter how two-fisted a birdwatcher you might be, somebody’s always better.

That’s okay. I see that I’d checked Abert’s Towhee on page 304. I remember the hazy Arizona afternoon when I saw it, and smile.

Maybe one of these days I’ll run out of unchecked birds in these old pages. But when I leaf through the shorebirds, the alcids, auks and puffins, I figure, no, probably not going to be a problem.

An American forum.

June 18th, 2010

There’s something new in the world of bird websites. It’s a forum. Another forum, you say? Okay, stick with this: It’s not just another forum. It’s a better one.

We’ve had a forum with similar quality in Illinois for a while. Illinois Birders’ Forum. The guy behind it is a two-fisted type named Greg. He’s more than a bird guru; he’s an explorer. He’s hiked Amazon jungles, discovered unknown toads (yeah, toads, but he’s a bird guy), and has interesting friends.

For example, when he recently commented on our observation about “turfs” within forests, he mentioned that ornithologist buddies told him Swainson’s Thrushes defend a patch of woodland every summer in Canada, and amazingly these same individuals defend their own patch of forest in Costa Rica every winter.

Point is, Greg’s connected to the research side of things. He’s a good observer and writer. It’s good news for us that he’s taken the forum concept that he honed in Illinois, and has done a uniquely American thing: he’s created a new national version.

“North American Birders’ Forum” is in the soft-launch stage. That means there’s fine tuning going on. But it’s pretty okay, even now. It’s a single resource for whatever kind of birder you are at the moment, casual or serious.

It clues you in on rare sightings, news reports and other cool websites. It gives you a voice in the giant, democratic conversation that the web is designed to encourage.

It has a “links” section where birders can tell birders about links they like. And it’s adding a “listers central.” So you’ll be able to keep an online record of your own lists organized by month, year, lifetime, zone, whatever.

No point in our describing North American Birders’ forum any further. All you need is the web address and you can go there:

http://birdersforum.com/

Check it out. But come back here once in a while, too. Just for the fun of it.

Turf.

June 16th, 2010

You bushwhack through the woods until you hit a slow-moving river. There’s an old log there. Makes a good place to sit. You go often enough, and the place starts to feel familiar.

Kentucky author Chris Offut wrote a book about spending his mornings by a river. Gave him a chance to think. (The book is “Same River Twice,” in case you’re interested).

Sitting in one spot is a way to see wildlife. There’s a chipmunk that comes around. Usually I see a coiled snake sleeping near the log. Deer walk by. There’s a Belted Kingfisher watching the water from an overhanging branch.

There are Red-headed and Downy Woodpeckers, Northern Flickers, Swainson’s Thrushes and occasionally I see a Woodcock. You wouldn’t see them if you were on the move. But you’re on the log.

The idea hit: this little spot is a neighborhood.

It’s a neighborhood just like the kind you find in cities. New York isn’t one big city, it’s a hundred little cities. The neighborhoods are defined by streets and El tracks.

It’s the same in the woods. This half-acre by the river is defined by a stand of trees to my left, the log by the bank, and a little creek on the right. Within those perimeters, it’s a neighborhood.

I understand now that it’s not a different chipmunk every time. This guy lives here. It’s the same Belted Kingfisher on the branch. His branch. Same coiled snake. Same neighborhood deer herd. The woodpeckers and Flickers live in those trees; this is their turf.

That’s my sighting of the day: an idea. The idea that the woods aren’t an expanse of wildness, but a collection of well defined turfs. And when you get to know one, you go back to it. And you like it. You’re not just experiencing nature. But human nature, too.

Deadly Salt

June 14th, 2010

By Scott H.

Scott is a two-fisted guy in New Mexico who commented about our Daily Sighting, “Bear Pressure.” He also turned us on to a website about the Gulf oil spill. See “Bears, and oil in your neighborhood.” But there’s more to Scott than bears and oil. He wrote the following piece about a little known ecological eye-opener. If you’d like additional information, use the comment box and we’ll relay your message to Scott.

The mess in the Gulf is dramatic and criminal, no one should doubt that, but there is another, ongoing bird-killing ecological train wreck that can be found in several localities out here ‘west of the hundredth.’ This is a situation that has gone on, day after day, year after year, ever since our industrial culture reached the High Plains.

The birds involved are migratory waterfowl and the killer is salt. Not so much the natural levels of salt found in isolated water bodies all around the West, but the evaporative concentrated brines that are discharged from various industrial processes, notably potash refining and petroleum extraction. These are crack-your-skin brines, fluids so concentrated that a film of crystalline salt forms on the surface on hot days. One hesitates to use the word water in association with these basins. You wear a broad brimmed hat when you work on these lakes and heavy waterproof gloves. You put sunscreen under your chin and eyebrows because the floor of these lakes is solid salt, feet thick, whiter than bleached bone and ragged with sharp salt crystals. The reflected sunlight will give you a nasty burn without protection.

iStock_000013102362Small

Migrating waterfowl, mostly ducks and grebes, that loiter on these waters for more than a few tens of minutes are doomed. There’s no water to drink after their long flight. The salt penetrates the oil on their feathers and they begin to suffer from hypothermia. They become waterlogged and begin to ride low in the water, become too heavy to escape and soon exhaust themselves trying. They die, badly, in less than a day and sink to the bottom where they become crystalline caricatures of themselves, or they wash up onto the shore where the scavengers only sample them and leave. The bodies are too salty even for the likes of rats and skunks.

In my experience natural salt lakes don’t kill birds. Only lakes whose normal hydrologic cycles and salt loads have been disrupted become killers. Here in New Mexico these lakes are concentrated in the southeast part of the state, down in the Carlsbad Potash District and the geographically overlapping Permian Basin oil fields, but there are isolated systems of these little known killing fields stretching from New Mexico to Manitoba. They sit there out on the High Plains, largely out of sight and out of mind, luring exhausted waterfowl to their deaths in their thousands, year after year, decade after decade.

There has been some progress. As a result of work done in the early 1990s by several intrepid biologists from the US Fish and Wildlife Service, some of the offending water bodies have been cleaned up or hydrologically altered such that the bird ‘take’ has been reduced or eliminated. Too, companies began early on, under pressure, to try to haze birds landing on some of these lakes to drive them off. These efforts continue to this day on some lakes despite the continual destruction of airboats and other equipment by the corrosive action of the salt.

No one knows the exact toll on migrating populations of ducks in New Mexico, let alone nation wide, but across the High Plains the tally must reach into the thousands annually, perhaps higher.

I have years of experience with this situation as well as other issues involving more conventional playa lakes and would be happy to help educate this website’s readers about a little known aspect of our nation’s biological endowment – and sometimes tragedy. I have access to documents, raw data and people. And, being recently retired, I have time to pontificate.

This has been two-fisted work at its smelliest, grimiest best – or worst – depending on your perspective.

Bears, and oil in your neighborhood.

June 11th, 2010

Got a comment tonight about our latest post, “Bear Pressure.” You can see it in the comment box under that post. Good stuff. Thanks Scott.

But the thing that really stands out is a link to a website that Scott’s wife found. It’s called “if it was my home,” and it’s not about bears, but about the oil in the Gulf. The interactive site let’s you visualize how the oil spill would overlay your neck of the woods. There are questions and answers, too. Also pictures. And information about what you can do.

We have nothing more to say about this ongoing story, for now. Nothing that would be worth more than the information you’ll find on “ifitwasmyhome.com” Go to it: (And thanks again to Scott and his wife).

http://www.ifitwasmyhome.com/#loc=Las+Vegas,+NM,+USA&lat=35.593889&lng=-105.216667&x=-105.216667&y=35.593889&z=7

brown pelican, pelecanus occidentalis

Birds of Literature

June 11th, 2010

By Marc Davis

Another guest essay comes to us from Marc Davis, a two-fisted ex-newspaper reporter (among other things), and a guy who probably has read any book you’ve read and seen every movie you’ve seen. He knows a few things about classic bird poems, too.

World literature from contemporary times to before antiquity is replete with many a bird, real and imaginary.  In Biblical times there was Noah’s famous dove, the winged creature he sent in search of dry land when the deluge had subsided and the rainbow appeared.  The dove returned to the ark with an olive branch, signifying that the flood waters had retreated and the world with its people, beasts and birds could begin anew.

Then there is the legendary Blue Bird of Happiness that lives in your backyard.  There’s no need for two-fisted birdwatchers to hunt for it everywhere around the globe except at home, where it resides awaiting your greeting and ready to bestow upon you its namesake gift.

As the opposite of the happy bird cited above, there is a dark and accursed bird, also the object of an international quest.  Boundless avarice, betrayal and murder were inspired in those who sought it: The Maltese Falcon. Gutman, the fat man, tells us why the bird was so avidly hunted in Dashiell Hammett’s tale of the same title.  Gutman tells P.I. Sam Spade that the bird, made of pure gold and encrusted with precious jewels, was the loot and plunder of the Levant, stolen by the Knights of Malta and paid in tribute to the King of Spain, the Emperor, Charles the Fifth.  Greed undid all who pursued it.

"Nevermore..."
“Nevermore…”

But of all literature’s many birds my favorite is the talking bird with the one-word vocabulary: “Nevermore.”  No bird or word more perfectly sums up the gloomy fact that what is past is past. The raven proclaims with that solitary utterance that there’s futility in mourning what is lost. Still, the brooding, disconsolate narrator of the poem in which the bird appears, grieves endlessly for his passionate, selfless lover, the lost Lenore.  And all the while through long rhyming lamentations, that foul bird perches overhead on the mourner’s chamber door, and will remain there throughout eternity, a winged reminder of our own mortality.