Bird Baseball.

Rob and Jonah are going camping. Rob’s a rugged and sinewy guy in his late thirties and Jonah’s a tall ten year old with a right arm that’ll get him a job pitching for the Cubs someday. Or maybe for a good team, we’ll see.

They asked me to give them some bird names to look for on their trip to the wilds. I don’t figure a ten year old really cares much for bird watching. But I came up with an idea he might like. Bird baseball.

It’s simple. Like any baseball game, it’s all about scoring. Here’s how it works. See a Chickadee and it’s worth a single. Man on first. Only problem is that “Chickadee” is a damn silly name. Unworthy of baseball. You don’t hear any city calling its team the Chickadees. The Cleveland Chickadees. No. No way.

Still, this little white, gray and black bird is easy to spot when you’re camping, and what you gotta see if you want a single. If it had a better name, maybe you’d get extra bases.

Okay, next, Cardinal or Blue Jay—either one, is worth a double. These are good baseball birds. Both have major league teams named after them. Both are unmistakable. The Cardinal’s all red; the Blue Jay’s mostly blue. And both have pointed crests on their heads.

To get a triple, see a Turkey vulture. Big, black, with wide wings and a wild dinosaur kind of look. Keep your eyes on the sky; these giant birds fly in circles up there. Score a vulture sighting and you’ve got a man on third. Plus, if you’ve seen one of those other birds, a triple drives them home.

To get a home run, find yourselves a Bald Eagle. This isn’t easy, but in America, anything’s possible, and this is America’s bird. The home run bird. You can score it if you’re good and if you’re lucky.

That’s it. Keep your eyes open. Divide the game into innings, have hot dogs, and see how many runs you can rack up on your trip. Watch out for bears while you’re in the woods. But they’re in another league, and a whole different ball game.

Good luck, guys.

6 Responses to “Bird Baseball.”

  1. Holly says:

    Love your oh so clever last paragraph. You really have a way with words that makes reading your posts the highlight of my day. Thanks.

  2. norm schaefer says:

    Great way to get kids interested in the great outdoors when they spend most of their time in the not so great indoors

  3. Bird Feeders says:

    Great idea, excellent way to give birding that extra zing required for a ten year old. I agree, a bear sighting needs a much different sports analogy, I recommend Olympic sprinting.

  4. Rob & Jonah says:

    What an honor to be featured by name in an awesome TFBW post! And what a cool idea – we’re gonna do it! We will keep score and let you know how it goes. Thanks TFBW! We are HUGE fans of your work.

  5. Two-Fisted Bird Watcher says:

    Good point Kirby. Orioles ought to be worth a triple, too. They’ve got a baseball name and they’re less common than Cardinals or Blue Jays. So an Oriole’s as good as a vulture, at least in bird baseball.

  6. Kirby Adams says:

    What? Orioles aren’t worth anything?